The Savings of Being a Shut-In

Whenever people make the bold decision to slash their spending and live a frugal life in the most extreme manner, they usually stop going out.  After all, socializing is expensive. One drink leads to two, which leads to a need for a late-night snack.  Going out a lot requires outfits, which require shoes--it's a whole, expensive cans of worms!

I can now officially say that yes, the best way to save money is by not leaving the house, but also, it's totally not worth it.

Let me back up for a moment and take you back to the beginning of the month/ end of last month.  Life has been pretty sweet.  Work has shifted from being student focused to summer project focused, which is equally interesting, but a little less frantic; I've been taking rowing lessons, which I love; running has been going really well and I logged nearly 100 miles in May; weather has been mild enough that just having the windows open has been comfortable.  In short, everything was hunky-dory.

Then I got Mono.

That's right--the kissing disease.  The scourge of the Junior High School set. The disease that I was actually a bit smug about never having to deal with way back when, and that I kind of didn't realize that adults can get.

Symptoms of mono, for the unfamiliar include:

• Extreme fatigue--like sleeping 18 hours a day or more fatigue
• Sore throat--like swallowing knives
• Loss of appetite--best diet ever!

That's it.  Lather, rinse repeat for about 4-6 weeks.

So far, the savings have been impressive.  I have zero interest in food and everything I eat tastes terrible to me, so I haven't been to the grocery store except to deploy bf to buy me the occasional jug of juice and a few other things.  I also haven't been out to eat, though I have ordered a couple pizzas (if I'm craving something, I'm going to go for it, even if I can only eat half a slice). I can't really drive, so that saves money on gas and wear and tear on my vehicle.  Drinking is just as out of the picture as eating. As much as I yearn to enjoy a beer, in practice, I do not. 

So there you go.  The theory that you will save money by never eating out and staying in all the time is true!  I've tested and verified it, though I will say, it is not worth it.  Despite the fact that I sleep 18 hours a day, I still have a fair amount of partly awake/drowsy time that needs to be filled with something non-strenuous.  I can't read, because I fall asleep immediately, but I can watch TV.  And I have, I have watched ALL the TV.  I am now officially sick of watching TV, which is something I didn't really know was possible.

So yes, staying home all the time will save you money, but it may also make you a crazy person.  At least I know I am getting the most out of my Netflix subscription!

Let Me Embrace My Flaws As Well As My Strengths

In my mind, the whole point of this blog is coming clean--to myself and my internet friends.  Know thyself, etc.  This is something that is key when it comes to managing your money.  You can't hide bills and pretend they don't exist; you can't ignore debt any more than you can ignore income.  You have to know what's going on, even when what's going on sucks (looking at my plans for November...).

I feel that this is important in all parts of life--not just finance.  You should know who you are, what you like, what your priorities are and what you look like.  This is where Stacey and Clinton come into this post (I miss them so much!).  I have watched What Not to Wear since it premiered in the US.  Prior to that, I watched the UK version.  I love both shows and what I love best about them is that the first thing they do with any participant on the show is try to get them to actually see themselves.  They try to show them who they are, what they actually look like rather than how they see themselves.  If you're going to get clothes that fit and that enhance your figure triumphs while hiding your figure flaws, you have to know what both of those are.  In my mind, that's perfectly tied in with personal finance because you need to both look good and feel confident to do your job well and to find merit in yourself.  It's not the whole package, but it's a big part of it.

This is why I get very annoyed with people who try to take that away from me.

No one can dispute the amount of money I owe the federal government--it's on paper, black and white. But plenty of people think they can dispute what I look like.  As women, we're trained from a very early age to focus on our flaws.

And that's a huge problem.  Of course the flip side of the problem is when people overcompensate by being overly complimentary.  It's just as bad when other people don't allow you to be honest.

If I'm being honest about myself physically, I would say that I have a very long torso, long arms, a reasonably flat stomach, slightly crooked shoulders, very thick thighs and no ass at all.  My thighs are like tree trunks and they pack on muscle quickly and easily.  One time, in grad school, I went to the gym, worked out on the stair climber for an hour, showered and tried to put on the same clothes I had arrived in only to find that my jeans were now too small.  Because of this, I tend to wear more skirts and dresses because it's really hard to buy pants that fit both in the waist and the thighs.  I cannot wear skinny jeans or pencil skirts without looking stupid and/or being incredibly uncomfortable.

I know this about my body.  I'm not asking people to tell me I don't have large thighs because I do.  It's a fact, like my debt to income ratio.  I also like plenty of things about myself--physical and otherwise, but I'm not going to get into how great I am right now.

And yet, I posted something a while back on facebook about briefly forgetting that I do not look good in pencil skirts, and I got hammered by a friend of mine for acting like I had low self-esteem.  Friends occasionally suggest I try on skinny jeans and then disregard me when I say that I can't wear them.  "Don't say that!" or "Sure you can!" Would you say that to Beyonce'?

Beyonce' has thick thighs--FACT

It took me a long time to stop hating the way my body is put together.  I've let a lot of people other the years give me opinions that were just wrong or that did me no favors. Ultimately, I realized that while I may not love everything about the way my body looks, I love what it can do.  I've run 15 half marathons; I have tremendous stamina; I have no major health problems; I have no major disfigurements and I am perfectly happy wearing boot cut jeans and adorable dresses & skirts.

Likewise, don't ask me to hide my head in the sand about my financial situation.  It sucks, but it could be and has been worse.  Don't tell me to wear skinny jeans because everyone else is, I'd rather look good in my clothes than try to be trendy.  Don't tell me that I can afford a European vacation if I've looked at my budget and told you that I can't.

Please, let's let others be honest about who they are and be more honest ourselves.

2013: The Worst Year Ever

Do you ever have one of those years where it seems like everything just falls apart?  Like even to the point where things you didn't think could fall apart just all of a sudden did.  This year has been rough, and while I'm sensible enough to know that my year is in no way harder than a lot of people's regular lives are, it has still taken a hell of a toll.  I've been sitting, waiting to write this blog entry for about six weeks now, but I'm glad I held off.  If I had written this last month, it would have just been a list of things that have been shitty over the course of the year--and no one wants to read that.  Now, things are looking up and I caught sight of that elusive little friend--perspective.

So instead of 'woe is me'ing all over, I'm going to examine what I've learned so far in 2013:  The Worst Year Ever.

1. Bad things happen to good people
At the end of February, my boss at my job was fired.  We knew that he and the top brass had been clashing for a while, but usually in libraryland (for better of for worse), it's really hard to get rid of people.  I showed up for work one Friday, and an hour later our stunned children's librarian told me that he had been called in and dismissed for 'insubordination.'  Not only was this emotionally devastating as I considered him a mentor and friend, but he was also beloved by the community because he's a really good guy.  People organized protests outside the library, signed petitions and I felt pulled between my convictions that what was done to him was unfair and my need to lay low and appease the people who sign my paycheck.

2. You can plan and plan and plan all you want, but life throws you curveballs
My mother is a banker and has always been frugal and absentemious.  She saves and she exercises and she eats right.  She is the very definition of sensible.  She doesn't drink or smoke and my most frequent criticism of her is that she needs to just lighten up every now and them.  So I was obviously shocked when I got a phone call from her this past April to tell me that she had had a seizure, which let to an MRI, which revealed a malignant golf ball sized tumor on the front of her brain.  Doctors told her that it could have been there for easily ten years, but since she showed no symptoms until the seizure, no one could ever have suspected.

She was admitted to the Mayo Clinic where they performed surgery to remove 98% of the tumor.  After that, she did pill chemotherapy and radiation, which just finished.  Last time I spoke to her on the phone, she told me that she was doing great. "I'm lifting weights and going for walks.  This is the first time in my life where my only job is to take care of myself."

3. You never know what work experiences will come in handy in the future.
For five years, while I was in college, grad school and just out of grad school prepping for... more grad school, I worked in local news production.  Initially, I got the job because I needed a night job to faster pay off my credit card debt.  The lousy pay was only exceeded by the lousy hours, but the high stress environment was also an incredible rush and I worked with some seriously awesome people over the years.  Though I liked that job, I never intended to make it my career, and when I was offered a promotion, I elected to go to grad school for Library Science instead.

After my boss was fired, I became responsible for everything he had been doing in addition to what I had already been doing, which was my job and half of another person's.  It was officially too much work for one person, and I started to unravel--big time.  A friend told me about an opening at her library, and sent me the job description, which was incredibly intimidating.  After re-reading it a few more times, I figured I might as well apply.  I was pretty miserable at work, my friend was on the hiring committee, I just might have a shot.

Even though my friend went into early labor and wasn't actually there for the interview-- I got the job.  A big part of the job is creating video content for the library's website, which means  I spent a chunk of my day today learning Final Cut Pro, which is pretty similar to the non-linear video editing software we used at the tv station.  The old adrenaline rush is coming back a little.

4. You're stronger than you think and you can't predict the future
I went into libraries with the goal of working in an academic library balancing teaching, outreach and hopefully finding a way to be creative--that is exactly what my new job is.  Not only that, but it's a brand new position that is more or less a choose your own adventure.  So even though this was my 'plan' there is no way I could have ever predicted that meeting one person in library school; landing one job working horrible hours that gave me library instruction experience; one grad assistantship in distance learning and five years in local news would all congeal to make me qualified for my dream job.

If my previous job hadn't gone to hell, I probably never would have applied for this new one--I needed the push.  Even though my former boss is still looking for work, he's collecting unemployment, and last time I saw him, he seemed much lighter in spirit--I know he'll land on his feet.  My mom is doing well and is incredibly lucky to have access to the best medical care in the world.  She's a little skinnier and a little balder, but I'm going to give her a kick ass scarf when I see her for her birthday in two weeks.

Worst of 2012

These last two days of 2012 are all about reflection.  Which celebrities had a great year (Channing Tatum)?  Which celebrities had a bad year (Lindsey Lohan)?  Etc. ad infinitum.  But, people love lists, so you have to give them what they want.  I present you with my worst financial moments of 2012.

1. Bartered Away 401k
After the library where I work received news that we were suffering a major budget cut, we did what any other library would do to avoid closing three weeks--we took it out of the employees' already meager pay. Yes, I'm still pissed about this and will remain so.  Silver lining--I got an extra week off-paid, but I didn't really accomplish anything that week.  As I've said before, I love my job, but I don't want to drop dead at the reference desk!  Save for retirement, people!

2. Less Income
I don't know why it didn't occur to me before, but by having only one, full-time job, I'm making significantly less money than I was before.  A friend asked me recently how that could be, and it all comes down to: 1. working fewer hours than before a.k.a. a normal workweek instead of 40 hours one week and 45 the next 2. Making less per hour  3. Paying for health insurance.  Being a grownup is kind of bullshit, but at least I can walk to work!

3. Wanting to go out
Now that I have a reasonable work schedule, I had/have to really remind myself that neither my waistline nor my wallet can afford to go out all the time.  Going out is fun!  Eating out is exotic!  But it all costs money, and I don't have much to spare.

4. Stolen Bike
My beautiful, tricked-out (blinking lights and basket mean tricked-out) bike was stolen by nefarious jackanapes, which left me not only bikeless, but also feeling violated and paranoid.

5. Car Repair
My stupid car keeps breaking!  The windshield wipers keep freaking out on me by not working in sync and getting stuck together.  Presently, only the left one works, but as that's the one I need most, I've been lazy about bringing it in to get fixed (again).  Also, according to the city of Providence, my 2007 Chevrolet Malibu has increased in value from 2011-2012 and will be taxed more because of it.  You stay classy, Providence.

Not my car, but this is basically what happens

6. Parents
My parents and I don't have the greatest relationship in the world, but usually they send me birthday and xmas cards.  Now that I have a full-time job, it seems that I am completely cut off.  When I saw then in September, they didn't pay for anything (usually I get a meal, maybe a little something for airfare, etc.) and this year they didn't even send me an xmas card.  Yes, I am 33 and shouldn't need money from my parents, but see point #1 and #2 above. I actually could use their help more than ever, but I'm also certainly not going to ask for it.

7. Student Loans
My student loans were outsourced to a new company this year, and getting back on Income Based Repayment was a godawful nightmare of a gong show.  All of the progress I had made in reducing my amount owed--years of progress, was basically wiped out in a matter of months.

How about you?  What totally sucked for you this year?

Retailers Are Shooting Themselves In The Foot

I worked at Barnes & Noble for five years in college and grad school, and because of the timing of that employment, I got to witness firsthand the changes of businesses transitioning to an online presence and dealing with the price undercutting of Amazon.  We, as a BN, were required by corporate headquarters to have all of this advertising up in the store for BN.com, but the manager was constantly warning use that BN.com was also our competition.  "We need to give excellent customer service, because people can get the exact same thing online" she kept saying, "And to keep our jobs, we need customers to keep coming back into the store."

But here's the interesting thing, you could get the exact same thing online, and often for cheaper, and if you buy enough you can get free shipping.  What you also get, which is the reason I and many other people shop more and more online these days: No upselling.

We were required to ask every. single. person, even in the cafe, if they had a BN member card.  "Oh, you're buying a cup of coffee for $1.40?  Would you like a $25 membership card as well?"  You can imagine how well that worked.  This was not only incredibly irritating to the employees, but also to the customers.  It slows down the line, it annoys people, and regular shoppers who didn't want the card were alienated every single time they chose to spend money there.  For probably every 50 people who I asked if they wanted a card, maybe one person got one.  So that's 49 pissed off folk, and one $25 membership card sale.  Doesn't really seem worth it to me.

I realize that upselling at the register must work  often enough that businesses see it as a worthwhile practice, but what they really should be doing is NOT PISSING OFF CUSTOMERS WHO CHOOSE TO COME INTO THE STORE.

Does anyone like being upsold?  Does anyone actually think, you know, you're right, cashier, even though I told you that I only wanted a medium popcorn, I actually do want a large.  You clearly know my mind better than I do.  I go to Target often enough that I know all about the Target card.  I've had one in the past, and you know what?  The interest rate was ridiculous!  Of course, they don't mention that at the register.

My most recent experience with upselling came at the movie theatre concessions stand.  BF ordered us a medium popcorn. "Do you want a large?" The eager cashier asked. "No, I want a medium, like I ordered," he told her.

If I can't finish a medium, why would I order a large!?!?!

So, upselling is rude because you're basically calling the customer stupid, but in this case too she was so eager to sell him a large popcorn, that she interrupted the rest of his order and failed to ring up the Raisinettes.  We stood there awkwardly until he asked, "Can I have my Raisinettes?"  Then she had to ring them up, he had to dig for more cash, and all the people in line behind us had to wait longer.

In cases like these, you want to be rude to the cashier, who is just doing her job.  She would get yelled at by her boss if she was caught not upselling, but she's also just as likely to get yelled at by customers for being incredibly annoying.  As if cashiering isn't already a thankless, soul-crushing  job.

I didn't go to business school, and I'm obviously not in the business of chasing profits, but I do shop out of necessity and for fun (sometimes).  I can honestly say that stores that engage in aggressive upselling will lose my business, and I bet I'm not the only one who feels this way.  When retailers are legitimately worried about physical stores turning a profit, they should not be irritating the customers who have made the effort to get in their cars and drive there.  Gone are the days when the store was the only game in town, if I have the option of avoiding annoying upselling, I'll take it, and it seems many other people will as well.

Sorry for the rant, but it just amazes me that people who study sales techniques don't seem to think that pissing people off is a poor strategy.  I long to live in a world without upselling, but I'm not holding my breath.



*I do realize that making purchase suggestions like online retailers do is a form of upselling, but it's less annoying and easier to ignore.

My Long List of Grievances

I've been noticing small things lately that just seem stupid, wasteful and designed to irk me.  Sometimes I fell like the internet actually does have the power to influence change, so instead of just clenching my teeth and complaining inside my head, I'm actually going to list out a few things I've noticed recently.  i'm sure nothing will change, but I'll probably feel better--and I encourage you to vent your grievances as well!

Grievance #1
Car insurance is due June 6th.  I know this.  I've had the same car insurance company for nearly seven years, and my insurance is due the 6th of June and the 6th of December.  The lovely people at Progressive send me a reminder bill about a month before it is due, which includes my new insurance card, details of my policy, and the payment coupon in case I want to mail in my bill.  I mentally note this, put something in m calendar, and pay it on the day it's due.  After all, there's no bonus points for paying it early, and I usually put it on my credit card so I can get points and then just pay it off right away.

However.

After that first bill, Progressive then sends me about five more reminders--all multiple sheets of paper, reminding me that my bill is due soon.  They also seems to send me half a dozen of the little laminated cards, and I wind up tucking them in my purse, car, coat pocket, etc.  I know it's good to have more than one, but how many do I really need?  This is all wasteful and unnecessary, and they also send me email reminders, so all total, they tell me about fifteen times that my car insurance needs to be renewed.  I don't mind the emails, but knock it off with the paper.

My other beef with Progressive is that when I want to login to their online system to pay my bill, I'm expected to remember a completely ludicrous username comprised of numbers, letters and dashes.  I never remember this username, so I need to reset my password, which allows me to sign in with my account number (like I should be able to just do anyway).  It's just dumbassery at it's finest, and it wastes a lot of my time.

Grievance #2
I've had a contract with Sprint for my cell phone for about eight years.  I don't really like them, but I also don't pay a huge amount of money, don't care about my phone and don't have the mental fortitude to shop around.  I have the bill set to autopay through my American Express card, and I just scratch the headache of dealing with phone stuff off my list.

Except.

I want them to email me my bill instead of sending me the monthly packet of stuff that they like to send out, but every time I change my preferences to email only, they send me a series of frantic text messages saying my email doesn't work.  It's the same address I've had for forever, and I know it works because it's my primary mode of communication.  I don't know why sprint thinks they're getting blocked, I get the confirmation email from them saying I'm enrolled in e-bill, but whenever they get that message, they change me back to paper bill delivery (I hate paper), and it's such a waste!.

Grievance #3
I don't get the new obsession that the internet seems to have with macaroons and whoopie pies.   Sure, they photograph well, but they just don't look very appetizing to me.  I tried a whoopie pie a while back--a home-made one, because I'd heard people go on and on about them, and it left me decidedly underwhelmed and sticky of finger.  Explain this obsession, please, because I just do not get it.

I prefer cupcakes.

Grievance #4
Facebook scrabble re-did its board and it sucks!  It takes forever to load, there are not youtube-type ads where you have to watch for a while before you can click out, the board doesn't fit properly on my computer screen and when you first log in, you get this notice saying '89 of your friends are not playing scrabble, invite them!' But you can't click away from it!  You either have to refresh the page, or wait like a full minute for it to go away. Anyone want to play Words With Friends with me?