When Frugality Flails

I have had the most expensive couple months in a very long time. Probably the most expensive since I had to pay college tuition.  Since I last checked in, I have:

1. Moved to a much more expensive city into a much more expensive apartment.
2. Acquired a commute.
3. Got a newer, more fuel-efficient car to deal with said commute.
4. Had to increase the amount of car insurance I have because my new car is actually worth more than $50. 
5. Husband got into a car accident, so he's had to pay for a rental car since our bare bones insurance doesn't cover that. 
6. Kitty was diagnosed with hyper thyroid, which is a common and manageable condition that most older cats get, but it means expensive medicine and more frequent vet visits, which neither of us enjoy.
7. We hit another patch of weddings--fun, but expensive and with some travel involved.
8. Odd, random expenses that come with a new place are gobbling up my money.  Like curtains and rods, paint, fans, something to hang paper towels on, etc.

I am currently reeling from the fact that I will have a car payment for the first time in eight years, but I also plan to pay it off aggressively.  I technically could have just paid cash for the car and avoided financing it altogether, but that would have eliminated my Emergency Fund entirely, and I'm not willing to do that--especially so soon into this move.

Despite these extra expenses, there are a few good things that have come out of this situation.

1. I do have to drive more to get to and from work, but our new place is in an actual neighborhood where I can walk to pretty much everything.  There is a street full of restaurants three blocks away, and a grocery and liquor store two blocks away.  Previously, my work commute was 15-20 minutes, but the only place I could really walk to from my house was the library, or to get Chinese takeout.  Now I can drive to and from work, then park my car and do everything I need to do on foot.
2. Our new place is smaller, which may seem like an odd thing to want, but it makes a lot more sense for us.  Our previous place was a huge loft style apartment with no real rooms.  It was great looking, but not very practical for two people who like their privacy.  Since it was also really big, it was easy to start to acquire more things to fill the space.  Now, our house is only slightly too big, and we've been getting rid of a lot of things.
3. Taking on extra expenses, along with being forced by the move to really examine my possessions has got me streamlining and making a bit of side cash.  I had started getting rid of things via Craigslist and Freecycle before the move, but the new area we live in has a very active Buy Nothing group on facebook, and I've been doing a bit of ebaying.  I'm not going to get rich, but it's feeling really good to get things out of my house, and make a bit of cash that goes toward my goal of maxing out my Roth IRA. Once I start looking at my possessions with an eye to sell, it becomes that much easier to keep the momentum going.

Despite these setbacks, I am determined!  Fall is my favorite time of year, and once my house is in order, I look forward to exploring my new neck of the woods.

Tips For Getting Better Customer Service

There is no 100%, foolproof way to get excellent customer service every time, but there are good ways to make sure you get what you want,  even if the person you're dealing with may be being a bit rude.

Tip #1 Never Yell
It can be incredibly frustrating when you have a legitimate complaint and the person who is paid to help you is not at all helpful, but yelling will only make the situation worse.  Be calm, but firm, ask to speak to a supervisor if necessary.  It's also much easier to be assertive if you know exactly what you need to communicate.  Sure, sometimes a conversation can throw you for a loop, but as a customer, you can have expectations, but it's harder to give you what you want if you're screaming the place down.

Tip #2 Be Organized
Especially when you're dealing with important money issues that could require following up.  For example, I mentioned a while back that I get my birth control through a federal program called Title X.  This means that every three months, I go to the clinic, talk to a nurse for about two minutes, and then take home my stuff. For some reason, I kept getting bills in the mail from my clinic.  This is not right, because this is a free program, and the bills made it look like I was visiting my doctor, whom I haven't seen in nearly a year.

I called the billing office a while back and the woman I spoke to said that it was just a charge that my insurance had charged them, so the sent me a bill, she didn't know what it was for.  So I went ahead and paid it, since it was a small amount.  Then I got another, larger bill earlier this week.  I called my insurance provider, and they told me that they were not charging me for anything, but if the clinic continued to do so, they would open an inquiry.  I called the clinic again, spoke to a different woman, who realized they were making a mistake, and the whole thing got cleared up.  After the call, I made a note in my google calendar of what time I called and who I spoke to, just in case I need to follow up again.

For my student loans, since I make extra payments that I only want to go to the principal balance of the loan, I have to send them an email requesting that the adjust the payment manually.  This always takes forever, but when I follow up, they do it right away.  They might think I'm the most annoying person ever, but I don't care.  I make a note in my calendar to check in a couple weeks to make sure they did what I asked, and then I follow up--again.

Tip #3 Use and Remember People's Names
This might feel a little awkward at first, but repeating someone's name back to them let's them know that you're paying attention.  Similarly, if you need to follow up on a situation again, you know the last person who helped you.  If someone in person is not wearing a name tag, ask their name.  People on the phone should always introduce themselves by name, so jot it down at the beginning of the call and make sure at some point to say something like, "I understand what you're saying, Martha, but..."  This is something I figured out when I was working in telephone sales.  I had to introduce myself to people at the beginning of each call, and the people who addressed me later by name were always the least distracted.  I adopted the habit, and it has worked very, very well over the years.  Plus, it makes the interaction feel more like an actual conversation, which almost makes the two of you friends for a brief moment in time.  Who doesn't want to help their friends?

Tip #4 Be Honest
Thankfully, I've never had this happen to me, but apparently there is a trend in retail where people just complain for the sake of getting free things--even to the point of trying to get staff fired.  For instance, the customer will act as if something wrong has been done to them, or as if there's something wrong with what they're purchasing, and then demand a discount.  Certainly you can ask for a discount if something is legitimately defective, but don't lie just to save a few dollars!  That's insane behavior!

Tip #5 Be Reasonable
If you're at a restaurant and you find a hair in your pasta, it's perfectly reasonable to expect a replacement dish and for it to be taken off the bill--probably for free dessert as well.  It's a unreasonable to demand the entire meal to be comped.  This does depend on the level of fanciness of the place, but I kind of feel that demanding extras when you've only been mildly inconvenienced is just unnecessary.  By not being greedy when something goes wrong for you, you're making it much easier for that restaurant to do right by someone else in the future.



Any other tips that you've discovered work in your favor in customer service situations?

Maybe I'm Over It?

I used to run about four half marathons a year, plus usually one 10k, one 5k, and the grog and dog jog .  At the start of every race season, I'd feverishly register really early to get the best price. Then the first race would come around in early May, and I'd spend every subsequent weekend either running a race or training for one.  Don't get me wrong, I love running, but I'm really starting to wonder if I really want to bother registering for and running all these races.

Prices for half marathons range from $45-$100.  Even if I was getting the best price, I'd spend at least $300 on registration fees in a single year.  Sure you get a swag bag, a medal and a t-shirt, but I never really did anything with any of that stuff (I donate my medals and usually the shirts), and now I'm starting to wonder if I'm just over it.

I still love running, but it seems silly to spend so much money on something I can do for free.  I don't really need to motivation of a big race to get me out and moving, and honestly, I have no idea how to train properly and usually just run what I feel like running.  Usually on Thanksgiving, I run the Pie Run in the morning, which is a 5 mile race that benefits the Newport food bank.  A bunch of friends also do it, and it's usually really fun (and it's a much cheaper race than most).  This year I opted out, and a friend suggested that we just meet up at a park, map a route and run for free.  We're even still collecting non-perishable food items for donation, we're just saving ourselves $25 apiece.

Another gripe I have with a lot of the longer races is the fact that you don't know what the race registration fee is actually for.  In the case of the Pie Run, they tell you it's for the food bank.  In the case of the Rock and Roll race series (which is the most expensive half marathon ever), the money seems to directly benefit the Competitor Group, which is a private, for-profit group that seems to do nothing more than put on overpriced races where most of the work that people see is done by volunteers.

I still do like the challenge of training for a race and trying to beat my previous time, but I just don't feel like paying $60 for the privilege.  The past two years, I was able to bundle three races together and pay $100 for the bunch, which was a great deal, but this year, they jacked the price up to $160.  I know there's an expense involved with putting on a race of a certain size. You have to get permits, block off streets, pay police, but I also feel like there's just a lot of greed involved and it doesn't sit well with me.

So this year I think I'll skip the Cox Rhode Races for the first time in four years, even though they do have charities listed on their website.  Instead I'll do the Jamestown bridge race, which I've done every year since it started (a friend knows the race organizer personally and knows that she gives a lot of money to charity), and the Newport 10-miler to benefit the Fort Adams Trust: "A portion of proceeds from this event will benefit the Fort Adams Trust, a 501 (C) (3) non-profit with a mission to protect and promote the historic places and public spaces at the gateway to Narragansett Bay and Newport. This includes directing and supporting the stabilization, restoration, maintenance and operation of Fort Adams as a public historic site."

I can feel good about that.

I Don't Get It: Weddings

This is a new series idea I'm trying out where I discuss something that people spend a lot of money on that confuses me terribly.  After reading statistics that say the average cost of a wedding in the United States is $27,000, the average cost of a wedding in New York is almost $66,000(!), and "The state of West Virginia, where nuptials cost an average of $14,203, was the least expensive wedding location." I feel like I just don't understand people's priorities.

Then, I look into things like wedding venues, catering, etc., and it seems like maybe the problem isn't so much that people want to overspend on a fairy tale wedding, but that the wedding industry is set up to extract as much money as possible from people and even if you go into the planning with a budget, you might find that that amount means you get married at city hall and have the reception in mom's living room (which is fine too).

I am not a wedding gal.  I have never gone to a wedding and analyzed what I want and what I would do differently.  I never wore a pillow case on my head and pretended to be a bride.  Honestly, I don't really ever want a wedding, but I understand that some people do.  I always knew weddings were expensive, but I never understood exactly why they were so expensive.  A good friend of mine got married a few years ago, and she vented to me how much money they had to spend on all these little things.  That was the first time I had ever really heard a dollar amount attached to wedding stuff, but after attending the wedding (and I'm not trying to sound like a bitch), I was shocked at how much she had spent on what looked pretty low-key and a little bit tacky.

The a couple years later another friend got married, and I did some online sleuthing to see about how much she probably paid for things.  This was where I learned that the venue frequently has all of these built-in conditions that cost you extra money.  You may try to be frugal, but it's almost like they won't let you.

For instance: A friend of mine got married at a very nice location--a working farm with a lovely bungalow.  The ceremony was outside and everything seemed simple, low-key and easy.  Then I took a look at what she actually paid for.

$2500 to rent the facility for eight hours
$250/hour additional time, if needed
Cost of $1,000,000 insurance policy
Cost of a professional bartender for a minimum of 4.5 hours + cost of booze
Table and chair rental--$3 per chair, $6 per table
Cost of catering
DJ/Band
Photographer
Wedding Dress

Obviously, a lot of those expenses are negotiable like photographer and caterer, but we're still looking at a one-day event that costs at least what I make in six months.  I'd rather have a down payment on a house.

So this is why I'm scared of/not interested in weddings.  Even if you go into it thinking you don't want to go overboard and spend too much, if you actually want a nice, non cheap-looking wedding, the price tag is exorbitant.

If any readers managed to have a nice wedding that was not insanely expensive, I would love to hear about it.  Leave a comment or send me an email at findmefrugal@gmail.com
 
Average wedding costs: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/23/us-wedding-costs-idUSBRE82M11O20120323

Small Substitutions

I'm sure most people have seen those annoying articles that say things like 'If you just take the stairs, you'll burn an extra 50 calories per day.  That's five pounds a year!'  Even though I know articles like that are total bunk, I still read them all the time because they have those deceptive titles like The One Diet Trick you Won't Want to Miss!  Of course I don't want to miss that!  Then I actually read the article, and it's crap.

The problem is, in a roundabout way, the advice actually does work.  Both for weight loss, and for personal finance.  If you stop drinking that daily latte, you'll save $1000/year and up to 300 calories per day.  The only problem with that advice is, if you skip the latte, then maybe you buy yourself a reward pastry, and then you've consumed more than 300 calories, and spent only slightly less money.  At least in my case, I found small substitutions that work for me, and it actually did work.

I've been involved in this weight loss competition for over eight weeks now, and I actually have learned something.  I've never really tried to lose weight before, and it's harder than I thought.  I assumed that if I just let myself get a little bit hungry every now and then, the weight would fall off like it did when I was in High School.  Apparently things change as you age.  Even though I supposedly burn 700 calories per workout (pre-injury), I wasn't really losing any weight because my body had become too efficient at running.  I needed a change up both in my workouts and in my eating.

Likewise, with personal finance, the times I've been most successful, is when I change up my routine--avoid old temptations, and sub in different things,  Instead of shopping recreationally, and telling myself that all that walking around is great exercise, I just go for a walk, or go to a museum.  Instead of checking modcloth.com daily, I try to find new blogs that I like to read, or drag myself away from my computer and read a book.  Lately, I'm still blown away with how much money I'm saving by walking or biking to work--especially considering how expensive gas is these days.  Sure, it's only a two mile drive, but four miles round trip certainly adds up.  I haven't filled my gas tank since March 5th, and I still have 1/4 tank left that should take me through the end of the week.

With my eating, I've made a few other painless substitutions that have had significant impact on my weight loss progress.

1. I've substituted cucumber slices for crackers/pita bread.  I'm a late night snacker, and try as I might to purge this habit, it's just never stuck.  Usually my go-to is hummus and toasted pita bread (or crackers, but I've tried to stop buying those because they're expensive/bad for me), which in the grand scheme of things, is not the worst late-night snack.  Pita bread is rather high in calories though, and now that I'm tracking those calories, I realize I'd rather 'spend' them somewhere else.  Enter sliced cucumber.  Just as delicious as pita bread, but in a different way, and it basically has no calories.  So, my late-night snack just went from ~300 calories to ~75.  Also, cucumbers are cheaper than pita bread.
2. Use less half and half in my morning coffee.  I had gotten into this rather ridiculous habit of dumping in way more half and half than I needed.  I think it's because I buy the 1/2 gallon sized container now.  I've consciously cut back though, and I'm not sure it's really helped me lose weight, but somehow it makes me feel better and more frugal.
3. Hummus instead of mayo.  My typical work lunch is a tuna sandwich with mayo, something green (on the sandwich) and a yogurt.  I use the olive oil mayo that's reduced calorie, but the other day I wondered if I could use hummus instead (there is a theme here, I really love hummus).  Turns out, it's delicious!  Double bonus, I can use twice as much hummus as I was using mayo, and it's half as many calories.  Plus, my sandwich gets less soggy.
4. Less beer.  Sigh.  This has been the hardest change by far.  I love beer.  I love it so much.  Some people drink soda, I drink beer (but not in the morning, obv).  Unfortunately, beer is high in calories, and it makes me want to snack.  So, I've greatly reduced the amount of beer I drink, and for those occasions when it's been a rough day at work and I just want an alcoholic something, I've been selecting red wine, or just having one beer instead of two.  Only problem with red wine, is then you have to finish a whole bottle, but you have a few days.  This has saved me money and calories, and possibly made me more productive.

So that's where I am right now.  I'm adjusting to my new income and my new weight loss plan.  Both are going pretty well, and it's refreshing to know that I can change things without completely upending my life as I know it.  Anyone else have any successful substitutions to share?

I Need an Intervention

Just stop shopping, Dumbass

I have let the spirit of gift-buying punch a huge hole in my wallet.  I should have seen this coming, seriously.  Here is one thing I've noticed about my self and the way I relate to money: When my savings account is looking healthy and I'm contributing to it regularly, I start taking the same kind of pleasure in adding to savings that I do buying stuff.  When I have large, necessary (but not fun) purchases, I get pouty, throw up my hands (metaphorically), and say "what's the use!?!"  I've noticed this before, but continue to get blindsided, especially now when stores are tempting me with deals too good to pass up!  But, as I know that I don't need more things, I've been buying things for other people, which is very nice of me, but not nice to my savings plan.

Coming right on the heels of my car insurance payment, I had to get BF an x-mas gift.  After that, I realized that since my brother is coming out to visit, I should get him one too.  Then I found another something awesome for one of my best friends, then because I was being so virtuous and giving, I bought myself a dress.  It's like I need a sponsor to call when I feel like I'm going to spend!  Also, I bought running shoes, but I honestly did need those and saved about 100 dollars.

So that's why things have been a bit quiet on the old blogfront--I've been too busy ordering things.  In the back of my mind, I'm honestly hoping that the dress I ordered doesn't look good so I can return it, so I guess that's positive?

Starting December 20th, I'm off for six weeks from job number 2, so I need to keep that in the back of my mind.  With only one job, that means no extra income, just breaking even. I have a car tax bill looming--mustn't forget.  And I made a decision that will give me a goal to focus on so I (hopefully) won't be distracted by other shiny things in the meantime.

All of the cool runners have started getting these Garmin GPS running watches.  Initially I scoffed because it's clunky and expensive and seems like a laughable luxury item.

It's huge! But friends tell me it's not cumbersome

Now I'm in a position where I painstakingly google map out running routines, but sometimes alter them while I'm out and have no idea how far I've run.  The other day, I set out on my 9 mile loop, but still felt good at the end and took a spin through the park winding up with 9.5 miles for the day.  If I had known I was already at 9.5, I certainly would have pushed for 10.  So you see, the only way I can properly train is by having a giant computer on my wrist that tells me how far I've gone at any given time.

Yeah, that's a stretch, but I'm just going to save up the points I earn on my Amazon Visa card, and also the change that I save to bring to the Coinstar machine, which gives me an Amazon Gift Certificate (or just gives me cash, but then the machine takes a percentage).  Hopefully, this savings goal will occupy my fickle brain enough that I'll stop yearning for other things.  Hopefully.

Cost Per Use

I often want to buy sweater dresses, but when I try them on,
they look like they're wearing me instead of the other way around...

Cost per use is something I try to think about, but often fail to think about despite my trying (which I usually do after the fact).  It's a good idea, in theory, but I don't really know exactly how it works.  It seems like, if we 're looking at something like clothes (my biggest budget FAIL) you'd have to assign values to wearings before shopping--possibly be creating some sort of spreadsheet, and that starts to sound like that hateful meal planning I'm always dissing.

For example, let's say that I decide I'd pay $2 to wear a sweater.  That means I'd have to wear a $25 sweater 12.5 times in order to make it a worthwhile purchase.  That makes sense, but it fails to factor in other unknowns at the time of purchase.

1. Will this sweater wear well?  I've bought this brand before, and I've examined the weave, but what if it shrinks or pills?  Is it my fault if I didn't consider that?  
2. Do I have to feel guilty if I fail to reach my allotted useages due to shoddy craftsmanship?
3. Can I change my mind later and say that this sweater was worth $5/ wear just because I'm sick of putting it on?
4. Do I have to record somewhere, possibly in another spreadsheet, how many times I've worn this sweater, or am I expected to just remember it?
5. How can you expect me to remember something like that?

This is what I struggle with when debating the cost per use issue.  

When I was in high school, a friend of mine had a similar technique.  As we were both working menial jobs for meager wages, she would look at a price tag and factor in how many hours of work she would have to do in order to get the sweater.  Is this sweater worth five hours of my time?  This seems much more concrete to me, but harder to do on a professional salary.  Since I make more than minimum wage, I tend to look at items and think--that's only a half hour's work!  I can't pass up a deal like that!  Then I get that red line in mint.com that reminds me my budget doesn't care about how few hours I'd have to work to get something, and I wind up with a closet full of clothes I feel lukewarm about.

Some things that do resonate with me as being poor cost per use include:

Online Coupons.  The amount of money your're saving by using coupons is often probably equivalent to what you're spending on ink and paper.  Sure, paper is cheap, but printer ink is decidedly not, and often if you're printing a single coupon from a manufacturer's site, they fill the rest of the page with an advertisement that uses up even more of your ink. When I was using my home printer to do this, I had a hard time getting the black and white setting to stick as well and wound up with a full-color coupon for trail mix, which I don't think I ever actually used. I print most of my online coupons from sites like redplum or coupons.com because you can fit three on a page and it seems slightly less wasteful.  I also print them off at work--shh!

Driving further to get cheaper gas.  As beautifully and hilariously as this cartoon details, driving further for cheaper gas is often a silly use of your time, BUT it's certainly something I've done and will do in the future.  My thoughts on the matter--I'm not that busy, and it's my choice.  Sometimes it's just a good feeling to fill up the gastank for less than $40.  When I do seek out those cheaper gas stations, I'm often bundling that trip with a visit to the grocery store or Target or something, so I'm not just driving to get gas--I'm running important errands. I also frequently fill out online surveys that take 15 minutes and only pay $3.  Is that a huge waste of my time-- maybe, but I wasn't making any money farting around on facebook either, so I still come out ahead.

Going to five different grocery stores to get all of the deals.  We get two grocery store flyers shoved through the mail slot weekly, and there are many times that I've been super-tempted to do a 2x weekly shop, but thankfully my laziness and hatred of shopping have saved me more than once once.  Unless the deal is AMAZING and the store is near where I'm going to be anyway, I just don't do this.  Unless you're a much stronger person than me, you will most likely see other deals that you want to take advantage of, especially if you're in a store with an unfamiliar layout.  Sure, most grocery stores are pretty similar, but there's always subtle differences that send me down an unfamiliar aisle and then I'm confronted with strange foreign chocolates not available at my usual store that I must take advantage of!  For example: My store of choice is Stop and Shop, BF prefers Shaw's.  Both are pretty much the same except my store shelves P&G Tips tea with the rest of the tea and Shaw's puts it in the British section.  The British section is also where the ultra-expensive imported candies like Aero bar and Digestive Biscuits and Jaffa Cakes are, and I need to avoid remembering how much I would like to eat more Digestive Biscuits--especially at $6 for 15 cookies.

Anyone else have any other Cost Per Use hangups or tips?

Falling off the Wagon

March is always a month where I seem to spend a lot of money, and this March is included. Of course, I never remember that this happens until I look at my credit card balance later on and think egads! I've spent a lot of money this month.

This is partly not my fault. One of my blogs switched to its own domain and I had to pay for two years up front (which I'll hopefully make back by soliciting advertising), I had to buy a plane ticket to go to a conference in June, and I had to put a hold on a hotel room for said conference. The problem is, once I start spending large amounts of money on things I have to get, I start to get a bit petulant, and start feeling like I need something for me as well.

I've also re-noticed one huge thing about my spending habits i.e. I have a tendency to spend when I'm bored or when I feel like I'm not in control of my life. Without getting too bogged down in details, I'm incredibly frustrated with a situation at work, and frustrated with the fact that despite my experience, education and intelligence, I'm still just a part-time employee with no real responsibility besides just doing what I'm told.

I've never been good at blind obedience.

About four years ago, I finished grad school with a Master of Fine Arts in fiction and screenwriting. Of course, a degree like this doesn't have a job attached to it, so I was still at a loss for what to do with my life, just now in a lot more debt. I quickly started researching other graduate programs that I could do successfully; I started reading voraciously determined to finish 100 books by the end of the year (it was May when I started, so I had to read about 5 a week), and I started shopping. Every afternoon that I wasn't working, after I had read, and gone to the gym, I would go to Old Navy or Target or Bed Bath and Beyond, buy things I didn't really need, but come home with a tremendous sense of accomplishment.

Fast-forward to May 2009 after I finished my second masters degree and again, had no real job prospects. I contacted people, I applied for jobs, but I also started couponing voraciously. At my high point, I was going to the grocery store four times a week stocking up on various things, spending significantly more on food than ever before.

I've reigned it in considerably, but am still likely to fall into old habits, as I've found out this month. Going shopping gives me a sense of control, it gives me a sense of purpose, it gives me new things to wear (even if I don't really need them, but I'm still struggling with this "business casual" thing), and it's immediate satisfaction.

My clothes budget is blown for yet another month, but I've got some really cute capris and I'm happy about that.