Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Am I Trying Too Much?

This is certainly not my closet, but man I wish it was
2012 is supposed to be the year everything changes for me, and so far (first two weeks) that's actually true.  Here's what has changed so far:

  1. I've been walking to work, which I love!
  2. I've been less petulant/ run down and therefore haven't been shopping to perk myself up.
  3. Since I've been leaving the car at home, BF has been going to the grocery store!  He's not the savvy shopper I am, but it's so, so nice to not have one more thing to check off my list.
  4. I had a weekend--two whole days off!
What that weekend taught me, however, is that I am no good at weekends.  I have been working several part-time jobs at once since I was 15, therefore, I don't really know what to do with my downtime.  I feel guilty when I'm not at work, even when I'm not supposed to be at work.  Sidenote: It's really strange to me to only have to go to one job.  I keep thinking Oh, second half of the week, I'll have to go somewhere else.  Nope, I go to the same building every day; see the same people.  It's an adjustment.

What I would like to focus on now--in addition to frugality, losing ten pounds and those ten goals I came up with before, is enjoying my downtime more.  I found last year when I had only two days off a month that I would get so worked up about using those days well, that I often made myself sick.  Likewise, this past weekend, I gave myself a headache thinking about all the crap I should be doing, but was too tired/lazy to do.  The new goal is to spend some time cleaning/ organizing my office so I can keep it clean with a minimum of effort (I know that's the dream, but I'm optimistic).

I'm also going to stop beating myself up about "wasting" downtime, and try to trick myself into just enjoying it.  I'm going to try to remember the things I did when I first moved to Providence, when I was unemployed but wasn't miserable.  I imagine this goal will include more matinees of independent films (frugal AND supports local businesses), and perhaps some fro-yo.

When you write it all down, it does sound like a lot, but it's also a lot of fun stuff, which is what I need to keep reminding myself.  Hopefully, I can establish better habits and then everything will just fall into place.  Getting better at life--what an adventure!


  1. I go through phases where I feel guilty for treating downtime as downtime when I have all this stuff I should be doing. I usually get rid of my guilt by doing small tasks while "relaxing". Folding laundry while watching tv, dusting while watching tv, reading for 30 minutes before running errands, that sort of thing. That way I get stuff done and don't feel guilty, but I also enjoyed me time off.

  2. Excellent advice Elizabeth. I used to do that too, and have gotten away from it. Folding laundry in front of the tv makes it infinitely less horrible. Man, I hate laundry.

  3. Ha, my mother's the same. When she has a day off, she's like, "Oh, good I have a day off. So I can go grocery shopping, scrub the kitchen floors, do the ironing, return my library books..." etc., etc. But for her, that's how she enjoys free time - she's not happy unless she's getting something accomplished.

    Me? I've learned to love being lazy and doing nothing - OK, I didn't have to learn that. It's my natural habitat. :)