I Hate Moving

I moved around a lot when I was a kid.  If I'm remembering correctly, We moved when I was 1, 3, 5, 6, 12, 13--and then when I moved out to go to college, I hopped around a couple more times eventually moving to Rhode Island and moving twice within Providence.  Now I'm fixing to move into Providence apartment number three, and all I can do is think that I hate everything I own and can't bear the thought of packing and carrying it--even though I've had tons of offers of help from friends!

As much as I like to say I'm a minimalist (or have minimalist leanings), I have to accept the fact that I just have a lot of stuff and I don't even know where to begin.  I've done the thing where I boxed up all of my books and felt a tremendous feeling of satisfaction--for about a day, and now I don't know what else to do.

I've been going through my things, giving away DVDs, selling things, piling stuff in my trunk for dropoff at the thrift store, but my apartment is still mostly unpacked.  I reserved a truck for the large furniture items (http://www.anyvan.com/), I changed over my gas and electric, I'm eating up the food in the house, and freecycling things that are useful but that I don't use. But how do I actually pack the things that I use frequently?

I'm still living in my current place until the end of the month, and the moving day for the big items is the 2nd--though hopefully I can start bringing over carloads on the 1st.

Is anyone out there a super packer/mover who can give me some tips?  I have a tendency to just shut down mentally when faced with such an overwhelming and arduous task.  I just stare at the mess and tell myself that I'll deal with it later, then I complain to a co-worker who moved recently and she says "I started packing six months before I moved."  Cue the panic.

A More Zen Approach

I'm a pretty mellow person, at least, that's how I present myself to other people.  While I don't get caught up in a lot of time and energy consuming nonsense or personal drama, I do tend to get fixated on certain things--especially money things.  I've worked since I was 15, and I've worried about money since I was, I don't know, 8?  I think the first time I touched money I became acutely aware of the fact that all I could really do with it was spend it and then have none.

Since starting the job that I've now been at for about a year and a half, I've been lucky enough (after figuring out my budget) to sock away a decent amount of money--at least I've rebuilt my emergency fund from when I was unemployed.  I've also been able to pay a decent amount on my student loans and make a little bit of progress.  Certainly it's not as much progress as I'd like, but that's where my new zen approach comes in.

I've been obsessing--about money, work, everything to the point where it was really starting to make everything shitty.  I've had a lot of work drama in the last few months, none of it my fault, but despite my best efforts, I really let it get to me.  Add to that the regular stress of money, and the fact that money seemed like something more under my control, and I became quite unpleasant.

The problem is, even though you have a plan on paper, real life doesn't always work out exactly as you plan, and then that adds yet another layer of stress because failing to meet a goal is stressful.

So I've decided I'm all done with that.

I will no longer:

• Mentally take my work home with me, because they don't pay me enough to do that, and I'm not important enough to have that level of stress.
• Take responsibility for things that are not my responsibility.
• Try to pay as much as possible on my student loans and obsessively check my balance five times a day.  I'm paying a set amount each month, and no more.
• Say no to fun things because I need to max out my Roth IRA.
• Obsessively schedule workouts so I'm too tired to do anything but run and recover.

I will continue to:

• Pick up extra work shifts
• Use coupons occasionally
• Seek out free things
•  Put money into savings and IRA and watch my balances grow, but not freak out when it happens gradually
• Ride my bike to work, the store and the farmer's market

I will finally:

• Spend more time writing
• Hem that stupid dress that's been sitting on my desk for months
• Keep a neat and organized house
• Stop accumulating STUFF

It's actually pretty relaxing to just stop trying to control everything.  I wasn't being successful at it anyway, so really, just saying hands off is kind of nice.  I'm much happier when I'm not making myself miserable, which I really should have figured out a while ago.  It seems so simple.

Buy Local!

Remember a while back when I posted about how buying local is better?  Well, because of that, I was sent this really cool infographic (LOVE infographics) that further drives the point home.  Check it out!

Click to Enlarge Image



Why Buying Local is Worth Every Cent Infographic by CustomMade

The Television Question

Free tv!

It's a strange source of pride for me that I've never actually bought a tv.  I've also found, that when you tell people you don't have a tv and aren't willing to buy one, everyone offers you one to the point of being a bit aggressive.

The first time I needed a tv was the first time I lived alone--sophomore year of college.  My grandmother died that year, and I inherited her very nice television, which I then used for the next five years until I moved to Rhode Island.

When I told people I was moving to Rhode Island with only what fit in my car, and I was selling Grandma's tv, people were appalled.  I got at least two offers of tvs "so small it won't even take up that much room", and finally my new landlady in Rhode Island, whom I hadn't even met at the time, gave me a rather nice tv to use for the duration of my tenancy.  After that, I moved in with BF, who had a tv, and a couple years ago, he upgraded to a nice flatscreen.

Now, I'm in the situation where I'm going to be living by myself for a year, and I'd like a tv, but the nature of my tv watching has changed.  Presently, I can watch tv on my laptop.  That works fine when I'm just half watching something, or for the treadmill, but then I can't really also use my computer.  I could certainly get a nice tube tv off of freecycle for no money at all, but more than half of the tv/movies I watch are streaming from netflix or Virgin Media TV, so I would need a tv that plugs into my laptop, or some kind of streaming device like a Roku.  Plus, there's watching movies with friends, which I wouldn't want to do on my puny laptop.  What's the point of living alone if you can't have slumber parties!?!

So I really don't know what the best solution is.  I don't want to spend a lot of money since this is temporary, but I also don't want to have a lot of hassle associated with a leisure activity.  Anyone have any suggestions for me?  Is there something I missed?

April: Stay the Course

Somehow March ended up being an expensive month.  It doesn't seem like I did anything extravagant, but I also got a haircut, bought some house shoes:

Thanks for the tip!

I got my new-to-me bike fixed up, and I rediscovered my love of the Sweet Valley High books, which resulted in buying (me, buying books!?!?) a bunch of ebooks.  They just make it so easy!  I can buy them right from my chair!  I got sucked down a bit of a rabbithole, but I'm still just addicted to those Wakefield twins.

Just as awesome as when I was 12.

I've also been as aggressive as possible with socking away money in my Roth IRA and putting money toward my stupid student loan debt.  I'm pleased to report that not only will I be maxing out my Roth IRA contributions for the first time ever ($5000), but I am also actually (kind of) making progress with the stupid student loans!  With the payments I make this week, my balance will go below $100,000 for the first time ever!

It feels good, I have to say.

My plan for April is more of the same minus buying slippers and other incidentals.  I do need to take a pair of shoes to the cobbler, so that will be an added expense, but since I'm improving something I already own, I don't mind as much.

April is a good month because it seems that spring is almost (finally!) here, which means digging out a wardrobe I haven't worn in quite a while.  And it means it's finally biking weather!  Since my work is not that far away, I don't spend a ton of money on gas, but it's always nice to spend even less.  Plus, my new bike is pretty snazzy:

Tricked out with lights, a bell and a sweet basket

So the plan is:

--Pay at least $400 toward student loans every month.  I'll pay more if I can, but I do also need to prioritize putting money into regular savings, which I haven't been doing as much

--Pay at least $400 toward Roth IRA.  This means that I stay on track, and won't need to panic at the end of the year and sink my entire tax return into my Roth.

--Get back on track with regular saving.  Saving for retirement is all well and good, but my car won't last forever, and what if I want to buy a house someday!?! Ack!

What are your plans for this month?

Why is My Soda So Big?

I don't drink much soda. I don't have a taste for it, fake sugar gives me headaches and it seems like (is) a huge waste of money and calories.  That said, when I was running my most recent 1/2 marathon, at mile 11, someone handed me a small cup of coke and it was the most delicious thing I think I've ever tasted.

Since I had just run 13 miles, I decided to treat myself to a coke on my drive home from the race.  I stopped at Burger King and ordered a small coke.  I was shocked when they handed me a 16 ounce cup that just looked huge.  Even though coke was the thing I wanted most in the world right then, I certainly didn't want that much.  I drank about half of it and started to feel ill, but then I felt wasteful for wanting to throw it out and had a little more.

This is why the whole ban on large sugary drinks in New York seems like a good idea to me.  When you get more than you want, you drink more than you want.

BF and I visited Niagara Falls a few years back and stopped at Tim Horton's on our way across the border (this is a funny story, bear with me).  I ordered a small cappucino because I love those terrible powder + water cappucinos that you get at a gas station or a Tim Horton's and I only buy then on long roadtrips.  In Niagara Falls, Ontario, I ordered a small and received a 12 ounce cup.  Then we crossed the border into New York state and a few hours later stopped for a bathroom break. I decided to treat myself to another Tim Horton's cappucino, and found that when you order a small in America, it's 16 ounces.  Same brand, same logo, same delicious flavor--difference sizes.

 The other side to the argument, in my mind, is that by ordering the larger size, you reduce the amount of packaging used.  If I had gotten a 16 ounce cappucino in Ontario, would I have wanted another once we got back to the states?  Would I have wasted two cups? If someone actually wants 44 ounces of soda, shouldn't they just get it all in one cup instead of buying two?

I go back and forth on this idea all the time, which is odd for someone who doesn't really order beverages other than beer (which comes in a reuseable cup or recyclable bottle/can).  When I order a 16 ounce coffee at a coffee shop, no matter how tired I think I am when I get it, by the time I've had about 12 ounces, the stuff that's left is cold and gross and I don't want it.  Similarly, the last few drinks of my precious Burger King coke were watered down and kind of ruined the experience.  But I love value!

It's a strange debate and I hate to seem like we need to be saved from ourselves, but we probably need to be saved from ourselves.  I've got a pretty well-honed sense of discipline, but I still snack if food is around and I still drink more soda than I actually want.

I'm curious how other people feel about this.  If the government interfering by limiting the size of sugary drinks, or are the just stopping us from killing ourselves?

I Don't Get It: Weddings

This is a new series idea I'm trying out where I discuss something that people spend a lot of money on that confuses me terribly.  After reading statistics that say the average cost of a wedding in the United States is $27,000, the average cost of a wedding in New York is almost $66,000(!), and "The state of West Virginia, where nuptials cost an average of $14,203, was the least expensive wedding location." I feel like I just don't understand people's priorities.

Then, I look into things like wedding venues, catering, etc., and it seems like maybe the problem isn't so much that people want to overspend on a fairy tale wedding, but that the wedding industry is set up to extract as much money as possible from people and even if you go into the planning with a budget, you might find that that amount means you get married at city hall and have the reception in mom's living room (which is fine too).

I am not a wedding gal.  I have never gone to a wedding and analyzed what I want and what I would do differently.  I never wore a pillow case on my head and pretended to be a bride.  Honestly, I don't really ever want a wedding, but I understand that some people do.  I always knew weddings were expensive, but I never understood exactly why they were so expensive.  A good friend of mine got married a few years ago, and she vented to me how much money they had to spend on all these little things.  That was the first time I had ever really heard a dollar amount attached to wedding stuff, but after attending the wedding (and I'm not trying to sound like a bitch), I was shocked at how much she had spent on what looked pretty low-key and a little bit tacky.

The a couple years later another friend got married, and I did some online sleuthing to see about how much she probably paid for things.  This was where I learned that the venue frequently has all of these built-in conditions that cost you extra money.  You may try to be frugal, but it's almost like they won't let you.

For instance: A friend of mine got married at a very nice location--a working farm with a lovely bungalow.  The ceremony was outside and everything seemed simple, low-key and easy.  Then I took a look at what she actually paid for.

$2500 to rent the facility for eight hours
$250/hour additional time, if needed
Cost of $1,000,000 insurance policy
Cost of a professional bartender for a minimum of 4.5 hours + cost of booze
Table and chair rental--$3 per chair, $6 per table
Cost of catering
DJ/Band
Photographer
Wedding Dress

Obviously, a lot of those expenses are negotiable like photographer and caterer, but we're still looking at a one-day event that costs at least what I make in six months.  I'd rather have a down payment on a house.

So this is why I'm scared of/not interested in weddings.  Even if you go into it thinking you don't want to go overboard and spend too much, if you actually want a nice, non cheap-looking wedding, the price tag is exorbitant.

If any readers managed to have a nice wedding that was not insanely expensive, I would love to hear about it.  Leave a comment or send me an email at findmefrugal@gmail.com

Average wedding costs: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/23/us-wedding-costs-idUSBRE82M11O20120323

How Being Lazy Can Save You Money

I'm not a lazy person overall, but I do occasionally succumb to the 'I don't want to leave my chair' mentality. Usually when there's a good book and a cat involved and I'm all wrapped up in blankets, the last thing I want to do is leave the house for something as tedious as grocery shopping.  One good thing that comes from being lazy though is the fact that it has probably saved me a lot of money over the years.  When you are loathe to leave the house, it's much easier to hang onto your cash, and even online shopping doesn't have the immediate gratification as going to a store and acquiring something.

Example A:  I've been reading The Hungry Runner Girl blog for quite sometime, and as the title would suggest, she talks about food a lot.  Thankfully, I'm too lazy to make a lot of the recipes she suggests (learning to bake sounds exhausting to me and who needs the calories), and many of the restaurants she goes to are regional and since she lives in California, I'm not tempted.  However, she recently went on a Subway binge and between reading her blog and watching The Biggest Loser, I had some serious cravings for a Subway sandwich.  For days, those sandwiches were all I could think about, and even though there is a subway 1/2 a mile from where I live, on my way home from work, I've been too lazy to go there, and have saved myself at least $5.

You see, it's cold out; street parking is hard to find sometimes; Subway sandwiches often sound good but are disappointing; I can make a sandwich at home that I know I'll like, etc.  I can talk myself out of anything! Now that some time has passed, the craving has abated, and I'll probably go another five years without eating Subway.

Example B:  Back when I was in college, I smoked.  I never really enjoyed smoking, but I was majoring in writing so it was pretty much a given, and I was spending a lot of time in bars and needed something to do with my hands.

All the great writers smoked

However, I can remember numerous times when I wanted a cigarette, didn't have any, and was just too lazy to go buy some.  I never smoked enough that I was physically addicted, so it was super easy to talk myself out of getting into the car and making a special trip just for something that would potentially kill me.  Even when I lived literally across the street from a gas station, I was often too lazy to make the walk.  Savings for my lungs and my wallet.

Example C: 
In college and grad school, friends would often try to get me to go to cafes with them to 'study.' Study is in quotes because what frequently happens is you go to a cafe with some homework, and spend your whole time there talking to people, accomplishing nothing except spending money on food and annoying a waitress. I figured this out quickly, and also figured out that cafe booths are terribly uncomfortable and cafes are loud. By saying no to these invitations, I saved both calories and money AND actually got homework done at home instead of wasting a lot of time.

Example D:
I work on the same street as many restaurants--fancy and non-fancy.  I could potentially go broke taking advantage of all their offerings, but I still pack a lunch every day out of laziness.  If I go out to eat (and I only get an hour), I have to walk to the restaurant, pick something out, wait for it, find a table--you see where I'm going with this.  If I pack a lunch, all I have to do is go downstairs, pop it in the microwave (if it's not a sandwich) then curl up on the couch in the staff lounge with book.  I can get in a whole hour of reading that way!


I often achieve my particular type of laziness by exercising a lot and then being too lethargic to want to do anything else, so for those of you who feel like you need to constantly be doing something, just do a lot of something right away in the morning and then you'll want to loll around.  If you convince yourself that going out and spending money is an arduous task instead of a fun thing to do, you will save lots.  Find a balance between laziness and accomplishing things that works for you, but I have to say, the lazy mindset comes in handy pretty frequently.

To Pay or Not To Pay

I had a conversation with a friend recently where I outlined my New Student Loan Scheme for her.  I put a large chunk of my tax return toward this new endeavor, and I was starting to see a little bit of progress, so I was feeling good.  Then we had a conversation which I found...odd.

Her: "But why bother worrying about paying them down when they'll be forgiven in ten years anyway?"

Me: "Right, maybe, I don't exactly know what the next ten years will bring, but even if they do get forgiven, I have to pay income tax on that amount, and I'd rather not pay income tax on $100,000 if I can avoid it."

So here, I think, was the fundamental difference between the way the two of us approach this situation.  In my mind, she has half the amount of debt that I do, and with a little sacrificing, she could pay it off.  In her mind, the amount is insurmountable, so she will continue to pay the minimum until the loans are forgiven.  As much as I know it's stupid to get worked up about such a big number, I also knew (kind of) what I was getting into when I took out the loans, and I feel like I have to make a real effort to pay them back.  I've always been the person who pays my debts--usually early--and this is the same thing to me.

Despite the fact that the number is huge and scary, I'm not redirecting all of my disposable income toward reducing it.  I'm also making a big push to max out my Roth IRA contributions for 2012 (which I can do until April), and start contributing to 2013.  I'm also socking away a little money each month in my emergency fund.  As good as it is to lock away money in retirement, you never know what's going to happen and it's important to have money you actually have access to.

I'm pleased to report that since I focused my student loan repayment efforts on the biggest, highest interest loan, I have made actual progress.  My last payment of $300 reduced the principal amount on that loan by $240 and it's now less than $15,000.  If I can really focus on getting that one loan down, I'll save myself a chunk of money in interest, and make the whole repayment process that much more worthwhile meaning actually reducing the amount owed rather than just paying off interest.

Yes, it's a small victory, but it's important to me to really feel like I'm making progress.  I'm calling this the year of sacrifice and if I can stay on track with saving and make a dent in my loan debt, I'm setting myself up for a less-stressful 2014.

Weekend Reading: Let's Pretend This Never Happened

Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

Sometimes I feel like I don't understand blogging.  I've been blogging in one way or another since people actually used Myspace.  I started out writing complaints about the stupid job that I had, and then I posted them online.  People found them tragically amusing, and I developed a small (miniscule following).  Then I started new, different blogs, and here I am today yammering on about money stuff.

As the years passed, I became aware that people were getting legitimately famous for writing about their daily shenanigans, and actually producing whole books, which despite majoring in writing, I have yet to do.  So I read one. I read It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown And a Much-Needed Margarita by Heather B. Armstrong of Dooce.com fame.

I hated it.

There were moments it amused me, but overall, it was so over the top in the way she behaved herself and the way people reacted that even though it was supposed to be real life, I found it hard to believe that anyone would want to spend time with her.  She was fun sometimes, but overall, just exhausting.

Which brings us to today's book review of Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson aka The Blogess.  Similar to the Dooce lady's book, The Bloggess is a famous blogger that I had never heard of before this year when a friend mentioned her on facebook and how excited she was for this book to come out.  My curiosity was piqued, again, based equally on my friend's recommendation and also the fact that this is another famous blogger and I want to understand what makes a person a famous blogger.

The only answer I can come up with is that you have to have/ had:

1. I totally crazy childhood
2. A completely understanding and willing to go along with almost anything husband
3. A mental illness that results in manic highs that you then write about

In short, I found this book so irritating that I had a really, really hard time forcing myself to finish it.  It goes (mostly) in a chronological progression starting with the author's childhood and culminating in marriage and parenthood, but it's just a series of episodes that seem based on the funniest/wackiest events that occurred, and it's not particularly funny.  Unlike, say, a David Sedaris book, I didn't really care about anyone involved, and that made it hard to care about what happened to anyone.  The writing was choppy, the book felt disjointed and I'm left even more confused about why she is such a popular blogger.  Either way, now I know, so I can scratch that off the list and pretend this never happened.

I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.